I’m back in Ubud yesterday after ‘only’ eight days away to Jakarta and Malang. I felt like I’d been away two to three weeks. In the plane, I tried to recall what I did and have done the past eight days. It’s funny feeling that I feel time went slow. Maybe too many things have happened during my stay in Jakarta and Malang. Some significant things like having a new laptop computer. It’s a big thing for me because I live with computer.

My life in Malang was a bit monotonous too. It’s me, it’s not because of other people. I created another website for my new venture that I haven’t materialized. I don’t feel that connected with my nephew because, now I blame, my stay was too short. Often I feel, these days, that there are too many things on my plate. But I don’t want to be trapped in Coelho’s idea that actually I have made myself stuck. But maybe, I’m really stuck.

A friend wrote on his Facebook the other day that his words stay in my mind till today. I can categorize myself as an introvert person but I also share quite a lot about my thought and feelings with my close ones via any mode of communication. I reflect, lately, I feel that there’s something not right about being too externalized. I feel overwhelmed by my own words. Think I need to change a bit that may look like I care less. When every thought is externalized,
what becomes of insight?
When we reflexively post each feeling,
what becomes of reflection?


Hey, need to get up now, start working on the new venture soon! I want to see it flourishing soon.

Mama’s garden from the house.

Two Worlds Together

It’s interesting to mingle with a young adult. I have heard stories about my friends’ relationship with their teenage and young adult loved ones and here I am in with one. Like older women (I’m talking about myself), young adults also have their own world. So when my nephew and I get together, the two worlds need to negotiate when is the right time to start a smooth conversation.

Playing mother to my nephew, I asked about thesis he is working on the past weeks. With eyes still gluing on television, he updated me with the progress. He is going to hold his proposal seminar this Thursday. I was interested so asked further about the organizing of the seminar. I was not behaving well it seems, he stopped trying to respond and asked me not to ask while he is watching television.

Ha ha. It’s Sunday. Cartoon and cooking channels are busy airing nice shows for couch potatoes at home. I had used tricks to find the right time to have nice chat yesterday that we managed to have between shows. I just knew that even Mr. Bourdain has his show at 8 o'clock in the evening and later close to midnight another lady still cooking on television. Cable television pushes us to be in the same time zone.

I use meal time to have a nice smooth exchange. He has such big passion for food so it’s easy to talk about what he likes to cook and what he fancies. The thing is school subject does not usually come up at dining table. That’s fine! Since we both love gadgets, I can always catch him when he comes near and starts talking about websites and books he likes me to check out. Never raised children myself, it’s nice to have an instant child like him. And the fact that we are close in personality, it’s easier for me to understand his idea and rhythm. Not a big challenge, I just need to compose report for his mom in the US every now and then. I will definitely miss him when he resides back in the US soon after he finishes his study.

Ready he was, I had a chance to have a peek at his thesis proposal. He is going to research communication ethnography on the classics The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I enjoyed reading his idea. The terms have brought me back the memory of my master degree thesis on applied linguistics. We use similar approach, I analyzed the uses of implicatures (to convey an additional meaning not expressed literally) in communication. Been through his proposal, I have confidence he can finish it well especially because English has become his first language. Oh, how I miss being in school again!

Finally, we managed to do grocery shopping. My nephew was so precise in setting time we go. 1 o’clock! We left with somebody started cooking on television. I guessed he chose to leave her behind to be with his auntie. Two hours past. We were happy kids again with our goodies from the hypermarket. Especially my special cook, now he must have a long list of Italian food on his menu for the next days. Both worlds end the day content.

Pants in a student laundry we saw on our way to get angkot.

I’m in the mood of sharing since morning. It’s strange that I was inspired by Laura Calder’s website (yes, my nephew had made me checked out her website). She wrote a brief life update consists of what she does and feels. I always like to share with loved ones my experience and feelings via writing (blog or email) but there are times I feel discouraged by lack of, if no, response from them. Not that I need a praise but I wonder if my friends actually enjoy or do not bother to go through my emails. That’s when I like the ‘thumb-up’ sign on Facebook. It’s a simple way to give attention, no composing needed. But why do I need that actually? Writing is my way to empty my mind anyway.

I used Calder’s writing style to share with my good friends on Facebook. I know some who write and appreciate a piece of writing. It’s good we can create a list of friends on Facebook so I don’t have to worry about sharing my life update with "to whom it may not concern." I also sort of copy the writing style of Time’s feature about the best of Asia’s mind, body, and soul. It’s written by different writers; brief but so ‘telling’ about a place or thing. It’s nice rather than reading a full article of a place or thing. This brief format tells all about the experience, the object, and the feelings that follow. Fabulous! I am so inspired by many through reading today.

Although I missed wandering the city with my dear nephew, I enjoy every minute I spend exercising ideas. I’m laying out plans for Manila too! Finally, here is my first brief update for Facebook friends (also email-pals) I sent out before noon today.

Malang, here I come…

I was gone around 19:30 last night. It was an extraordinary travel day yesterday. I didn’t sleep well the night before and in the morning I found one of my tires flat before I left for the airport. It’s good to know my ex-staff Ketut didn’t mind to get up early and take me to the airport. A cousin took care of the tire later the day. I am blessed with nice people around me. The trip from Surabaya airport to Malang was not bad either. It was sunny and seems that the new mud bubble on the road along Porong has been fixed (though maybe temporary?). Two hours to get Malang home was not bad at all especially because I could doze riding on bumpy road.

Being in Malang one night, I realized I live different life here. It’s so different than quiet Ubud. My parents’ house located near a big campus that the neighborhood is houses that rent rooms (kost) for students. Only a few houses nearby house families. The road can be so busy with chatty students walking to campus; or motorbikes raising its speed. Like many houses in small town, our house has ‘see-through’ fence with plants instead of solid walls like big-city houses.

Inside the house, my dear nephew constantly makes creative noise with his activities. Be it in front of computer (playing games with loud tap of keyboard and music sometimes), in front of television (with news, cartoon and cooking channels), or… in the kitchen cooking! It makes the house alive! Active! Especially because we are both late night as well as early morning persons. We mingle till before midnight and meet again in a few hours around 5 o’clock. I love it!

Yesterday when I arrived around noon, the house smelled fresh cookies from the oven. My auntie was busy baking cookies for her upcoming son’s wedding that I will miss. And before too long, she shared me two jars of… chocolate cookies! I loved it though it’s floua and suga… Indulge now, exercise later! This morning my nephew prepared really nice muesli with yogurt, banana, nuts, god-knows-what-inside. It tasted super! I enjoyed my five-star breakfast! For a change of my simple breakfast a la Ubud – fruits fruits fruits!

Malang was a bit stuffy. Big garden and big house do not help apparently. Many still thought Malang has nice cool weather. I lost such impression the past ten years. But this morning started with nice warm sun but breezy. I was bitten by jalan-jalan (wandering) bug; be in angkot the public transportation, or see familiar places again? But that was not my nephew’s idea. My nephew and I are in the same group of people who enjoy staying home a lot. He didn’t seem enthusiastic about being a tourist in his own town. So here we are! Stay home and back to old mode of reading and writing – offline and online – but in Malang.

Anything, as long as we are together.

Malang, 5 June 2010 10:43 (GMT +7 hours)

My parents' house again.

Hidup memang penuh kejutan. My cousin texted me after he and Ketut dropped me off in airport early this morning. For me, it’s another day with unexpected things. It never happened before and it happened in the time I needed my car most! One of the tires ran flat when I drove out of my yard. I once thought What if? Like The Secret, don’t do What if?

It’s good I have a good support in Ubud. Often my friends reminded me about it that although I live by myself but I should not worry since I have a troop of supporting friends. It’s true and I feel grateful because of it. It warms me to know that friends just come and help when I need.

My fate got better. I was by myself in the shared-transportation car going to Malang. The other person didn’t show up. I could relax in the backseat. I didn’t sleep well last night. I must say I barely slept. It’s just strange. I felt a bit uncomfortable with the minor change of my departure next Thursday. The flight I used to take was booked out that I had to use other airline with a stop in Singapore. It means…

Before Ketut picked me up, I was standing by my car counting my blessings. After all the unexpected things happening in the past two days, I’m still lucky in many ways. I should not complain since I have options to outsmart things I don’t want to happen. To have options is the most luxury thing in the world.

It’s so nice to be with my dear nephew again. Smell of cookies in oven was all over house when I arrived. My auntie baked trays of cookies for the upcoming son's wedding. My nephew had stocked up food I like (among them is… grr chocolate!). Serving food is part of warm hospitality in Asia especially in small towns like Malang. I have prepared but I prepared to say No! Or, I need to manage my intake. How can I resist the cookies (yes, it’s floua and suga)? Coke and not a Zero? Oily perut ayam and bolu kukus that look so inviting? It’s part of politeness too that I consume what they have served. Not an excuse at all, I’m telling you the truth!

I won’t say I will start diet tomorrow but I’d like to say… I will exercise even more tomorrow! The same affirmation I have started saying months ago and still need to work on. The Secret says Just do it!

Bag tag I once thought cool but I chickened out to wear later. We live in different kind of world now.

Aku berada di Malang saat ini. Setelah semua urusan di Jakarta berjalan lancar, aku dengan senang hati mampir dulu ke Malang sebelum terbang kembali ke rumah hari Senin pagi nanti.

Aku sempat bersantap siang bersama dua kawan baikku kemarin. Mereka belum pernah berjumpa satu sama lain sebelumnya tetapi tanpa terasa kami telah bercengkerama selama tiga jam di sebuah rumah makan khas Indonesia di sebuah pertokoan. Benar kata orang, menghabiskan waktu bersama teman perempuan itu perlu karena bersama mereka kita bisa melupakan sejenak urusan rutin harian.

Sorenya aku mengunjungi salah seorang tante yang mempunyai andil besar dalam hidupku karena aku pernah tinggal di kediamannya selama tiga tahun dua puluh tahun yang lalu. Senang melihat Tante dalam keadaan sehat dan bahagia. Kami bertukar cerita dan gosip keluarga tentunya. Semua sepupuku juga ada di rumah jadi seperti reuni kami bercengkerama seperti dulu. Suasana di rumah itu tidak pernah berubah, karena penghuninya juga tidak berubah.

Aku sudah tidak mempunyai energi sekembalinya dari berada seharian diluar rumah. Jakarta memang hebat dalam hal menyerap energi. Kadang aku tidak percaya aku bisa berada di antara lautan mobil yang merayap di jalanan. Tetapi itulah Jakarta di hari Jumat sore!

Pesawatku ke Malang terlambat 40 menit tetapi waktu seperti berlalu begitu saja. Aku menghabiskan waktu dengan membaca majalah Forbes Asia sebelum masuk ke ruang tunggu. Majalah ini selalu menampilkan profil-profil sukses yang memulai usaha dari kecil sehingga menjadi sangat besar. Aku lebih senang membaca mengenai kreatifitas para konglomerat ini meskipun mereka dari negeri tetangga, dibandingkan membaca mengenai penipuan pajak oleh oknum pajak yang belakangan ramai diberitakan media di Indonesia. Sama sekali tidak memberi inspirasi.

Keponakanku senang melihat aku datang. Dia langsung membeberkan apa saja yang sudah dia beli untuk menyambut kedatanganku. Sebut saja aneka buah-buahan, susu rendah lemak, kripik kentang kesukaan kami, dan coklat buatan dalam negeri yang entah kenapa suka aku kunyah bila sedang di Malang. Aku memperhatikan kalau pola makan kesukaanku berubah tergantung tempat. Di Manila aku gemar mengunyah makanan ber-MSG! Mulai kripik kentang sampai cheese balls. Di Malang aku jadi suka coklat dan… minuman soda (meski dengan label zero sugar). Nampaknya aku mempraktekkan “Bila di Roma, berlakukan seperti orang Roma.”

Aku dan keponakanku sudah merencanakan apa yang hendak kita lakukan di pagi hari. Aku membawa bola-bola coklat produk Batangas, Filipina, yang terkenal. Kami ingin membuktikan keampuhan coklat untuk diminum ini. Aku juga mempunyai ide untuk membawa keponakanku ke pasar tempat aku dan ibunya sering dibawa Mama berbelanja. Mungkin ini akan menyenangkan juga.

Liburan belum berakhir.

Lampu di rumah makan yang aku kunjungi kemarin.

Ah aku pasti terdengar tidak bersemangat…

Aku berpikir waktu kawanku menganjurkan aku untuk lebih ‘hidup’ di pagi hari untuk mengawali hari yang ceria. Hm. Aku baru sadar kalau di kebanyakan pagi aku menjadi pendiam karena aku justru masuk ke gua pikiranku, menggodok apa yang hendak aku lakukan hari ini. Kebanyakan ide berkumpul waktu aku bangun pagi dan dalam proses pengolahan ide-ide itu aku masuk kedalam gua sehingga untuk kebanyakan orang aku kelihatan tidak ‘hidup.’

Kemarin aku melewatkan hari di rumah saja bersama sanak saudara. Keponakanku masih libur jadi kami mempunyai kesempatan berbincang, juga waktu bibi dan paman datang lalu bergabung santap siang. Diantara waktu bersama sanak saudara, aku masih sempat meneruskan membaca buku yang menarik itu, dan melakukan riset untuk memilih kamera semi-pro di internet. Perjalananku kali ini telah menginspirasiku untuk mulai berkarya foto dengan menggunakan kamera yang lebih 'serius' daripada kamera saku yang sebetulnya sudah memuaskan bagiku. Banyak kawanku percaya, aku bisa menghasilkan karya yang lebih dengan peralatan yang lebih baik. Baiklah.

Kawan dekatku yang memiliki sebuah persinggahan libur di daerah Batu menghubungiku semalam. Aku tidak ingat kalau dia sedang berada di Malang. Tadi pagi aku datang ke proyek mega dia sejak tiga tahun belakangan bersama rombongan besarku yang berjumlah delapan orang. Ya; bibi, paman, sepupu, keponakan, dan teman kecilku aku ajak semua. Aku senang berbagi hal-hal yang menimbulkan inspirasi dengan orang-orang dekatku. Aku juga perlu inspirasi besar itu, jadi bersama orang lain gelombang inspirasi itu akan terasa hempasannya.

Sobatku semasa kuliah sejak hampir tigapuluh tahun ini hampir tidak pernah pergi dari kehidupanku. Kami saling mengikuti tahapan kehidupan masing-masing, sejak dia menapak pekerjaan dari tahap yang paling rendah sampai paling tinggi, sampai dia memutuskan berhenti bekerja di perusahaan orang dua tahun yang lalu. Dia mengatakan dia sudah sampai tahap dimana dia tidak bisa lagi mendengar teguran dari atasan. Aku sudah terlalu tua untuk itu, katanya. Aku mengerti apa yang dia maksud.

Dia melakukan investasi di waktu yang tepat. Baru setengah proyek berjalan tetapi sudah bisa menghasilkan pendapatan untuk investasi pengembangannya. Kawanku menggiring kami melakukan peninjauan ke beberapa sudut propertinya. Dia memberi keterangan mengenai konsep persinggahannya dan harapannya di masa depan. Aku menikmati keterangannya, seperti cambuk kecil-kecil yang mencambukiku. Di satu titik dia mengingatkanku, kalau aku adalah orang yang mempunyai banyak ide besar, dan aku mengingatkan dia kalau dia adalah orang yang mempunyai ide besar sekaligus pelaksana ide yang baik. Apa yang bisa aku petik dari contoh ini?

Kami menyelesaikan kunjungan itu dalam dua jam. Aku menceritakan mengenai perjalanan perjuangan kawanku dari bawah sejak dua puluh tahun yang lalu sambil menyantap hidangan siang di sebuah rumah makan kegemaran kami di kota Batu. Senang mempunyai kesempatan berkumpul lagi dengan para saudara. Waktu seperti ini tidak sering kami dapatkan, tapi setiap kesempatannya selalu menyenangkan. Di rumah, kalau ada aku, seperti ada pesta kecil terus-menerus. Yu Sih yang sudah mengabdi di rumah keluargaku lebih dari dua puluh tahun selalu membuat masakan kesukaanku, setiap hari. Bibi membakar berloyang-loyang kukis coklat kegemaranku, untuk aku bawa pulang, sejak kami kembali dari bepergian. Dan baru saja keponakanku mengumumkan menu istimewa untuk malam ini karena kami semua akan berkumpul lagi: pencuci mulut yang dibuat dari pepaya.

Aku tidak bisa menerka!

Pemandangan dari kolam renang persinggahan libur milik kawanku.