I’m a vegetable for a bit today. I had big plans for the next days including flying home that as a consequence I dropped my dates (yes plural) with some good friends in Jakarta this week. Dates that we had made a few weeks ago. I felt a bit bad when told a good friend about my plan to cancel our date. She has been so understanding and I was touched by her remarks. Your body also needs a rest. Do not stretch it just because you like to be constantly on the move. Then I felt bad.  I reconsidered my decision that had been set since I got up. I rescheduled my ticket and all fell into places.

Two friends already suggested me to rest for a few days before flying home. I still cannot accept the reality that my body is under the weather. Literally, I feel under the weather. Like it’s sunny out there and I’m under it (cloudy). I told my friend I don’t like the reality that I don’t have appetite even for food I used to crave. Our body is so powerful when it has come to send signals for us to stop torturing.

My other friend was so happy that I have more time to see her and her three boys visiting from London. I look forward to meeting them too. Now I have settled down about my new decision to accept Jakarta for a week. My cousin in Denpasar was in disbelief that I will stay in Jakarta that long. Yes, that long! I shall not think about it.

Here I am stay home, in computer, and in bed with Chiko the cat. We enjoy our closeness and way to communicate. There’s something magical about befriending with a cat. The unspoken language that binds us. I have created another mini-environment for my life in Jakarta so I’m able to survive being away from home. Where is home? The Indonesian lady I met in airport last night asked the same question. I told her, for me, I create home wherever I am.

I’m at home now!

The creature that turns house into home.

I don’t feel super the past days, or after the food tour. I still try to figure out what might be the culprit. This afternoon I got an insight, it might be my blood sugar level goes low. It’s been long I didn’t have sugar on my diet. I often have water after every meal, no juice in resto that usually contains sugar, and normally I don’t have sugar in my tea and kopi Bali. Ha. I’ve been too hard to my body it seems. I had tea with two teaspoonful of sugar before left for airport.

I left four hours before my departure because my friend’s flight leaves two hours earlier. It didn’t matter, airport living has become my monthly routine. I flew from terminal I’d never been so it’s all new to me. I used porter for the first time in Manila. My porter was so kind and smiley. I was lucky too the check-in counter let me in although it’s still one hour away before the counter opens.  Also, my 22.4 kilos went in without negotiation. He didn’t ask about my hand-carry bags either that obviously heavy (with two laptops) and big (with two wooden frames). I stuffed my handbag a bit since I was afraid of the kilos.

I pondered a lot about 15-20 kilos we can bring. How can a normal person carry stuff weigh 15-20 kilos when a good light expensive bag already weighs 4.5 kilos. 10-15 kilos of clothes, shoes, cosmetic, books and other survival kits? How can we? My chunky stone necklaces cannot travel with me. I complain a lot about this issue already. A friend who also travels a lot and obviously not a light packer like me said that our life is segmented into 20-kilo parcels. She might be true. I have survived living out of 20 kilos every other month. It should be fine!

Terminal 2 is great. Maybe it’s just me, but I realized the ground staffs are more smiley than in the other terminal. I should not compare, they are smiley period. The building is neat and clean but not too big (six gates as far as I can see). Only a few places for shopping (very few compares to the famous Changi) and only three to four eating stops that offer burgers of any kind.

True about traveling by self opens up to a new human connection. So lack of wi-fi connection has brought me and a family from Indonesia to have a conversation. They are bound for LA from Singapore where they live. It’s an interesting exchange about what you do, what I do. She found my life story interesting, so did I find hers. Exchanging name card closed the conversation, or connection?

I am still two hours away from departure. I better get something to eat although I can expect a late dinner on the airplane. It’s going to be too late for me to eat. I will continue reading the food tour book instead of my magazine that is sold in combo (with the edition about the new Mr. President who’s going to be officiated this coming Wednesday). I have enough information about him. Another interesting life in other country.

NAIA Terminal 2, 27.6.10 18.56

Flower arrangement at Bale Dutung, Angeles City.

It’s full moon and partial lunar eclipse today. Said whatever you put out will come back ten fold. Tennn fold!!

It’s been long I didn’t blame on full moon for my being a little uneasy in cruising the day. This time I blame it more on the food tour. My body feels uneasy since I got back from the trip that I reckon as part of the hiking level of cholesterol I have the issue for so long. It might not be either since I didn’t eat that much! But for sure, I ate what I don’t normally eat.

I don’t like uncertainty and that comes along with the uneasy feeling today. I blame it on the uncertainty of… packing my stuff! I need to carry some eight frames of my collage work that I don’t know how much kilo I would end up. In the back of my mind, I know things will sort out by itself. I should not have worry about anything. Anything! Practically anything!!!

Who else is to blame? Full moon, lunar eclipse, food tour, and uncertainty?

I have my website officiated (read: paid) today. Knowing that whatever we put out will come back ten fold, I can expect my website will be fruitful ten fold. Aamiin. I’m happy that finally I can claim the dot com address. It was an endless series of thoughts in the past how I can have a website with a little help from others. I like to have full control of my things. I made it today!

I just got an idea too! I may want to fly back to Ubud as soon as Tuesday. I had big dreams of going to Palembang, then Bandung, and now? None! I promised a good friend though to watch the annual production of the dance company she works at. I will figure out what’s proper and not proper about this promise. I deal with quite many propers and not-propers these days. The past week, at least three of my good friends sent me email JUST because they ask me a favor. I’m lost what’s proper these days. I haven’t replied to any. I let the time responds the way they respond to my hallo-email (not even asking a favor).

Do I have enough things to blame now? I let the full moon passes first.

Half window buried by lahar at the church of Bacolor, the Philippines.

I still could not think of what I want to eat this afternoon. My food tour yesterday has given me more than enough taste to the next few days. I was too brave to go on a food tour but nothing to be scared either.

I decided to join one of MVP summer tours when I was still in Ubud. I haven’t traveled out of Manila enough that I need to use any opportunity to just travel. And traveling with friends, old and new, is always nice! So I join the tour to Pampanga (about 80 km, 2 hours from Manila) yesterday.

It was quite a big group, 22 ladies and 1 gentleman. We rode a nice coach that had just enough seats for us. It’s nice. I sat by the President, my good friend once lived in Jakarta but we only got to know each other in Manila. I didn’t feeling well when left Manila but it’s nice to catch up with my mate in the two-hour trip.

First stop was the 16th century church of Bacolor that half-buried in lahar caused by the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991. It was buried about 8 meters deep so the front door now was window of the choir loft above the was front door. From outside, the proportion of the building looks a bit out. The museum of the lahar is in the other room inside the church. I was mesmerized by the new building inside the old building. Some doors become so low that we have to duck to enter a room.

The next visit is the Betis Church nearby which was spared from the lahar flow. It was originally built in the 17th century and restored in the 18th century. It has beautiful paintings on the ceiling and in contrast to most century-old churches the floor is made of wood. It has been named a National Cultural Treasure.

After a quick visit to the churches, we went 30 minutes away to the highlight of the tour. 10 (or more)-course lunch at Bale Dutung owned by artist/chef Tayag. I liked the place at first sight! I love wood and art out of recycled things. Perfect! The artist grew passion for cooking only lately that now he enjoys producing food to sell (pure crab fat, fermented shrimp rice, vinegar, etc.) and open his house-cum-studio for people to taste Pampanga cuisine (their local).

His wife is a really good guide for the food tour. She gave introduction of the food we’re going to experience before each course. She guided our taste buds by explaining the difference of, say, with or without vinegar or with or without chili. Before the next course, she asked about our greater liking for the option over another. She also asked us to compare Pampanga cuisine with other local cuisine like Indonesia. There were at least 10 nationalities at the table so the discussion was fun!

After the fourth course, I lost track. After the fifth, the host-cum-food-tour-guide distributed frozen rolled hand towels for the aircon. It was hot though airy in the silong (space below the house; ground floor) where we sat. She showed us what to do with that frozen hand towel on our President. She rubbed the rolled towel on face, neck, head, and made a stop at eyes, ears, and temples. We followed the example at once. We had fun playing with the cold towel. We’re not supposed to unroll it so the temperature can stay for two hours. It’s impossible to unroll either since the water is frozen. It’s a brilliant idea to cool down the body temperature!

Each course was in small portion that is good. After the seventh, the host announced that’s the end of the appetizer. We’re not there yet? We’re looking at each other curious of what would be the next because the challenge had been growing. The host staged the taste from simple to more intricate so by the end of the tour our taste buds are full already. She guaranteed we would not want to repeat the course after the dessert, if we want, the food would be free of charge!

The first main course was pork floss served a la Peking Duck with thin pancake (like pita bread) and spring onion and spicy sauce. I had very little to taste. The second main course was interesting. Guava soup served with steamed veggies and chilies and king prawns. Eat with banana leaf-wrapped rice. I liked the soup so much that heard even Mr. Bourdain was amazed. It tasted like guava with mushroom soup texture. Perfect! I skipped the last main course totally. It’s clam and other seafood that looked greasy.

I looked forward to having the dessert. We got an extra dessert because of our tour guide, Tibok-tibok made of carabao milk. The main dessert was wow… It took us to Paradiso before the coffee. Four and a half hours past. We were being two-hour late to leave Angeles City to Manila. We were stuck in the after-office-hour traffic after the toll road. I was half in the air already. I got headache! My system protested. Having been on lean diet for so long, my system didn’t endorse greasy and high cholesterol food. Or, my taste buds have been simplified by the diet that it needs to be adjusted?

Got home I feel rich not just in taste buds…

PS: I am now reading Tayag's culinary journal Food Tour.  It shows the wonderful life of the couple as food lover and lovers.

The Church of Bacolor.

Been two days sitting at home creating a website, I don’t mind to see the sun today. It was already hot when I stood by the road waving to taxis. I am picky, they are pickier. I have become master of quick selecting passing taxis because the majority taxis around are… not so good. And many of the good ones are taken! Like many things else in life.

Some did not show interest, maybe they had other appointment. One refused knowing where I was heading to. Diliman is about an hour from Makati. I got in one finally and I could not be pickier, it’s getting hot outside. I sipped carton milk while observing the cabin. The driver was nice to help me lock all doors manually. I checked the handle for winding the windows. It looked work! Being a Jakartan and now in other metropolitan, I’m alert to signs.

Taxis in Manila are generally clean. Only busy inside! Today I sat next to a thin pillow with Winnie-the-Pooh cover. Rosario and other religious beads are usually hung on the rear-view mirror like a shrine itself. On top of that, the furry-like dashboard cover often makes me feel sweaty. And today I enjoyed the bright red dashboard frame! Apart from the usual water bottle, today I also spotted a razor. There’s always something to observe.

I observe, the taxi driver observes (me). The first 10 minutes at least, often I can feel the driver observing me discreetly from the rear-view mirror. Familiar look, unfamiliar accent. Where's she from? Chatty drivers may ask quite instantly. Aloof drivers wait till I start a conversation, if ever, or give direction. Drivers with little English will keep observing and hardly ever ask. It becomes part of my game. I ask them to guess if they ask rather than give them a direct answer. Today, the driver’s first guess was… China. Rarely I came from China! But okay, it’s still better than the usual Thailand. For a change…

My friend I knew at the museology training last April took me to the Open University office in the campus of an old university in the Philippines. I was interested to know about the program since I could not access it on their website. We stopped by the lobby where the office is to enjoy artworks made from recycled computers. Recycled stuff always have a place in my heart so I took my time to do the art tour.

Gathered all the information from the office, we walked the campus. My friend asked if I’m interested to try riding the famous jeepney. More than happy! I’d been trying to do but hardly had a chance! It’s a really nice long car with low ceiling that walking inside bending is quite an art. We were off at a museum inside the campus. An important museum named after a major of Manila, the university graduate, who donated his collection to the university. The painting collection is interesting, many are from the 18th century. Realism to postmodern. We were lucky to have an official guide took us around. I enjoyed the mix in the collection. It has inspired me!

We ended our meeting in the museum café outside the building. It’s non-aircon but popular among the students because of the wireless connection is good and free. I realized not many places in this city have free wifi. We need voucher. In the university, the signal is weak, my friend who teaches in the university told me. So this simple and modern café turns into a get-together place. I enjoyed sitting in the heat because the view is green. So green that the color covers the whole screen when I took picture of benches under the trees.

I shall visit the campus again next time! As student already, maybe?

The green.

You invest a lot of your time online, Blogger warns.

Yes, yes, I have invested two days to work on my now website! I just got the idea to create a blog for my creation last week then I thought about other artists who have been ‘working’ with me the past decade. I want to give them a special place in my business. I set aside artifacts! I want to focus on creative people who are already there waiting to be exposed.

Set up a new blog, I got the idea to claim back a four-year-old blog to revamp. Blogger has developed its feature tremendously since I used first time four years ago. I’m happy to see and follow. I remember the days I wanted to have a sophisticated blog under other popular service among journalists but I just didn’t have the patience to go through unfamiliar settings. But look at me these two days, I just went through all the settings and new features that in the end of the day my eyes felt full of HTML code. I had fun!

The blog frame looks really nice like website created by a professional. Blogger is great too since we can convert the free service with little pay to get a real web address with… dot com! Now I waste the web-designing program I installed the other month. Nothing is wasted though, I can still use for the sake of curiosity later.

Like working in office, I sat quietly at home from 8 to 7 at least. Uninterrupted! Photoshop and HTML have eaten me! I’m so proud of Blogger and myself. Now a big amount of work has been waiting that is uploading the content into each tab. I have quite a lot of material on Facebook page that I haven’t figured out how to incorporate them in the web. This is when they talk about static and dynamic website. Now I understand.

Not just that, I also understand why we have to pay a lot for a web designer to work on our project. We buy their time! I work on my own idea and still need at least two full days to make it happen. I cannot imagine the amount of communication we have to make with a web-designer to work on our project. Let alone the time they spend to actually make the web pages ready and later to maintain. Ayayayayy…

So I have put my feet on the shoes! Now I know! I also found out that this trip to Manila is kind of retreat to me. I’m able to see my daily life in Ubud with helicopter view. To see what I need and want to do back home. I look forward to many now… I have a new toy! La la la…

Share you a bit of the web page.

It’s Father’s Day. It’s so different than last week when Saturday was the Independence Day. The weekend was quiet as many were out of town for the long weekend. Today was special. Mall parking spaces were full and sea of people could be seen inside the malls and restaurants. I never celebrated Father’s Day because it’s not a tradition in Indonesia and also Indonesian does not have local Hari Bapak to appreciate all the fathers in Indonesia, let alone the world.

So it’s quite new to me that I happened to be here on Father’s Day. Maybe it’s my imagination but I saw many happy men (must be fathers?) with gifts on their hands walking in the mall with the family. People also gathered to listen to music played by elders in a mall. It was fun, they all looked happy together. On the way back, I was mesmerized by the running text in huge size in the intersection of Makati that flashed good wishes for Fathers in the world. It’s totally new to me!

I have finalized a part of my new project with my shop. I created a total presentation of my artwork as model for other artists I’m going to feature. I plan to focus on other artists from tomorrow on. I still have two weeks before I get back in Ubud. I so look forward to being in Ubud again but I’m just happy wherever I am. Limited option is nice some time as it opens up other opportunities if we dare to look for them.

"Juggling," my gift for a father.

Sitting in Starbucks now, I’m reminiscing. My art juice is flowing very well since the past days. I created four fabulous assemblages as a start of a new concept of my shop. It doesn’t come easy to realize that I have some talents if I want to explore. I have let it buried deep for so long. Some friends have tried to convince me that I can do something with my art, or, I can share it with other art-fans with pay. In other words… my art is sell-able. How can I see that?

Anyway, the new concept of my shop would be… featuring talented artists in and out Ubud I know well. I will create a corner for each artist to display her/his work including mine. I have held some artists’ work since long time but hardly had I featured them as individual. I have sort of treated their work as merchandise although I also provide the background of the work including about the artist. I want to do more for their arts and at the same time for mine. Put them all in foreground!

I’m quite excited about my new idea. I realized this morning it’s so nice to have something to look forward every day. In Ubud, I look forward to having retreat in Manila. In Manila, I look forward to materializing ideas I got from the retreat. My friend said the other day that it seems I need more than one home to live that I showed strong disagreement. I thought I enjoy living in one post only. I thought. Now I agree with his statement. I really enjoy changing place and scenery, not just for traveling but more… to have enough time to be in a retreat.

I still have some eight days before my retreat ends. I have told myself to finish off my new idea so that I will be really ready when I get in Ubud. I don’t have much time when I’m back. Summer has started and my staff will start her maternity-leave soon. I will be fully in charge at the shop for at least two months. It excites me somehow.

My third artwork “What We Forget”

I’m satisfied with artworks I finished today. I worked on the two frames I bought yesterday that again I canceled my plan to buy stones for necklaces. I was so into it that I only showered in the afternoon. In average, it took about 5-6 hours per artwork. But the last one I’m still working now may take longer. It’s a box-frame and I’m going to work on the 3-dimensional part.

Creating artwork is like writing. It takes time to start because I need ‘the first sentence’ that can kick the rest of the work. For others, I might look empty when figuring out what theme I’m going to work on. Most of the time I didn’t have concept at all. I take time to browse a magazine then a theme will be formed bit by bit. The actual work is not long, only some alterations on the way need extra time.

I also took time during an artwork to browse the net. I’m curious to know what other artists have done. My collage or assemblage work apparently has its own style. Mine doesn’t remind people of other well-known work before. I really like the idea of incorporating found objects in the artwork. I got both passions in an artwork: for curios and for collage/assemblage.

The other day I went to see a friend’s art exhibition. He’s been creating assemblage for so long. His work is fresh, I like it. I kept thinking after I got back from the exhibition that actually if I want I can also create such. Like many have thought apparently, what it looks so simple needs aeon to create. Like I said, forming the theme is the backbone of the work and that takes the longest part in the process. So things are not just put together and I can call it an artwork. I’m planning to make a brief background of each artwork to make the soul more visible.

Before the day ends, I set up a blog for the works. This time I want to sell my creation. My old works are well hidden in the cabinet in the house in Jakarta. I’m not going to do the same anymore. I need a good measure of what I have done. By the way, a week has passed since I put my necklaces on sale in Jakarta, heard I had sold at least 18 pieces. I am so happy! My shop also made a good sale the other day. This has been happening for several times now that my business made better sales without me around. Yay!

My second artwork, “Travel Bug.”

Now I believe that creating an artwork needs a good hands-on, not just working on the ideas. The frame I bought for my idea yesterday sat in the plastic bag all night. I didn’t know what to do. This morning I took it out and started to work on my idea. The idea developed as I started to cut and stick things. I had wanted to develop my collage work into more 2-dimension. For years I made it on a piece of paper, I want to have it more finished this time.

Been long I didn’t work on such, I forgot tips and trick to make a collage neat. It didn’t matter since lack of material had made me more creative. I made paper tole effect on the collage by leaving some parts loose. I was so happy to see my first creation that I canceled my plan to shop for stones. I sold quite some necklaces in Jakarta the past week. And just two days ago I got invitation to display my work in a shop in Seminyak! In time I want to renew my collection!

I could not help shopping for more unique frames! I found out here there’s quite selection for frames and at reasonable price too! Many are specially made for keeping 2-dimensional object like medallion so it has thick passé partout and ‘depth.’ It’s perfect for 2-dimensional collage. Today I was not that lucky though. The big bookshops I visited didn’t have wide selection. I bought two frames that have unique feature so I can play with it. I have some ideas! It keeps burning inside.

The trip to the bookshops has brought me to the most luxurious part of the big mall. I often watched the display-windows from outside but never been inside. It’s interesting, it reminded me of malls in Jakarta with high-end goods. I treated my eyes window-shopping. Walking aimlessly in malls makes me tired. After lunch, I hurried home.

Second artwork is waiting to be produced!

"The Children of War," my first artwork here.

I decided to go shopping today. The weather actually stopped me but no… I needed to buy a new pair of glasses. I lost it two days ago on a walking trip to cinema. I had it hung on my top when left apartment and it just disappeared after walking in the crowd and running in the rain. My titanium glasses I prefer not to buy again. I’d rather buy other fun things. But the glasses, yes I need! I’d like to see the world in colors. Without glasses, all look blurry.

I forgot that shops in Manila are like shops in Singapore, open at 11:00! It’s confirmed that I’m an early person. I want to get things done early but that’s not the case here. I waited about 15 minutes. There were four shops I needed to check out located on the same floor but none was kind enough to open sooner than 11:00. Of course.

I tried some frames on before decided on a funky one. Glasses for kids (!) in light blue, yellow, and green frame! It’s not among the lower prices but well enough to be under the titanium one. I save it for later. I only need the glasses for airports and cinemas. Driving also, but yea…

I got stuff I needed in two hours. I had a big bowl of salad for lunch before heading home. It’s time for me to own that branded flip-flop it seems. The shop stood right before the taxi stands. I’ve been thinking to own one for neater look but still flip-flop in Ubud. I got out the shop with really nice black-grey sling-back flip-flop for… kids! I don’t feel small (in fact I feel bigger these days) but most of my body frames still fit kids’ size it seems. So… I’m happy still!

I didn’t do much today. I got home mid afternoon melting. It numbed me for a while before shower. I have again quite a long backlog emails I need to respond. I don’t like to procrastinate but some emails need a really good attention. Meaning… my time and energy!

That’s okay!

One of the alfresco malls in Manila.

The streets of Makati are so so quiet. Today is public holiday since the Independence Day fell on last Saturday. I’m a bit confused since some offices took the holiday on Friday! That then I do not know how public holiday works here. To safe energy in this temperature, I prefer to stay home since I’m not sure if businesses are open and if my friends are available to meet. In the neighborhood, at least, I didn’t see any life.

I could say because I made a walk anyway. I needed some kits for making artwork so I walked to the direction of an office-stuff warehouse that literally like a warehouse where it stocks stuff related to paper and craft for office and fun. Of course, only big fast food restaurant chains are open. I was a bit disappointed but glad I had a look myself.

My plan to try food at food stalls by the sidewalk did not materialize as well. Here we do not see gerobak (two-wheeler wooden-stalls pushed by food vendors) but more like moko (mobil-toko or car-cum-stall) in Jakarta. The stalls, that are bigger than the standard pickup, sit by the sidewalk and it has an opening on one side to arrange the food. The cover of the opening serves as long table where people can put their plates and eat while standing. From the look, my guess is the range of food is like food in warteg (warung Tegal or Javanese style food-stop) that serves homemade cooking. Heard that Pinoy cuisine is fatty and greasy therefore I haven’t taken the chance to taste further (Bangus fish is my favorite though). My observation, any good food is usually less healthy anyway so I do not mind tasting sometime.

These sidewalk food stalls cater office staffs around Makati, the business district. Similar to the idea of gerobak in narrow streets behind the office buildings in Jakarta, only these stalls look neater. Maybe because Makati does not have jalan tikus (literally rats way means narrow alleys) to hide not so nice view of the supporting life of the office buildings? Apart from big international and local restaurant chains and these food stalls, I also spotted openings in the wall of buildings that apparently are kitchens that serve take-out lunch, or whatever food is since I did not see any menu on the wall. People are standing in line waiting to be served. This kind of service I do not see in Jakarta is quite popular here!

It was hot outside. Roamed the neighborhood half hour, I melted. I plan to start making collage again with a whole new idea. But things do not move forward as I had wanted that reminds me of what Mama used to say. She observed, literate people declutter papers slower because they take time to read. I agree. I fire up my spirit by checking out art websites that link one to another. And when I start dealing with the real used magazines, I’m totally stuck! I’m reading!!

Now how to combine inquisitiveness and productivity?

Mangan has the same meaning as Javanese’s dining.

If we don’t go out, Manila has nice weather! It’s humid and no rain. This time of the year, it’s almost impossible to stay home without aircon on almost all day. Even in the morning after 7 o’clock, the weather can be unbearable. It makes you melt bit by bit. It’s summer!

I don’t mind staying home. Like in Jakarta, there’s not much we can do in big cities except shopping and dining. I haven’t gone dining so far since we enjoyed doing things at home. But shopping yes, we did a bit. Bookshops here are big and have a quite good range, I never got bored checking out. The price is also reasonable, quite significant I must say, so visit a bookshop guarantees that I will walk out with shopping bags. How much I want to tell myself not to shop for books, I am rarely successful. Especially because lately I have good company to read Filipino literature. My friend got the books from Amazon that I believe the price will not fall under $10, here any local print is hardly priced at over $6.

Nice that since I visit Manila regularly, I come to know more and more people in Indonesia that have connection with the Philippines. This morning, a well known writer-cum-psychologist shared her joy knowing that her short story is published on the weekly newspaper in the Philippines. She explained to me how she is connected with the nation, she is half Filipino! How would I guess? I thought she is pure from Timor where her father belongs to royal family. The world definitely has become smaller that helps people from two different worlds meet their soulmates.

Yesterday we watched movie. The scene from medieval era I’m not keen to watch. Simply because we arrived late for the famous SATC 2. Watching movie has become an alternative of outings in big cities. Last February I noted a record of watching 5 movies within 3 weeks here. It’s impossible to happen when I live in Ubud, even in Jakarta because of the traffic. It’s fun though but… funny enough that I also follow the American tradition of having popcorn in cinema! It gives me a slight headache after a tumbler of MSG-ed popcorn but who can resist? Indulge now. It’s not my routine (I have started saying it for too many not-so-healthy routines now).

Today I feel inspired by Marc Jacob. I just own my first MJ handbag. A red cotton tote with funky hot print of HIS drawing, Japanese style. I thought the idea of having a really funky but affordable yet exclusive line is brilliant. I keep processing a new concept of store for Neru that I have been working on for months now. I have some ideas but it’s so hard to materialize although I know the theory of believing in it can speed up the materialization.

It’s not easy for me to believe in small things these days. I can't help. Start small, think big; that’s the message I tell myself over and over again. My logic says not to do small things but look at my shop. I might have been wasting time but again… everything has its own time!

I will challenge myself to do my part this visit in Manila. Like Sy said, I have to create to make my shop different. I like it when he said… "I believe in making!" I have to nurture back the belief I used to have. Making!

Artwork by MJ, not mine but in the same line.

I am now writing on bumpy PA flight heading Manila with a stopover in Singapore, my first experience flying with the airline. After quite emotionally tiring traffic to the airport, I was happy to enter the aircraft that looked spacious because of the sky-blue color seat covers reminded me of Kate Spade range with the 1950s ambiance. Lovely, I’m ready to go.

Familiar accent announcing this and that. As this is not a budget airline, lunch was served. It’s nice to feel at home right away when I saw the familiar bread with, I guess, chicken sausage inside. The warm hotdog was wrapped nicely with aluminium foil and served without tray, with a 100 ml of orange and water cup. So cute! I skipped the meal after a few bites. I was still anxious from the morning in the bank for an unresolved issue.

My digit-scrambler for internet banking of a bank was locked last night. It’s not the usual moment where I pressed the numbers in a hurry and didn’t think long enough. The bank officer could not help me replace the device because I didn’t have the account book with me that I don’t normally carry when traveling. The worst scenario would be I have to rely on my network to pay things while I’m away. My other bank can transfer money only but that’s not enough. I learned my lesson.

I had two good busy days in Jakarta as always. Long morning plus a day out running errands and meeting friends. Came back in the afternoon feeling depleted. The traffic is worse every visit. But meeting friends I saw less and less since I live in Bali was fun! A good friend from America I knew a decade ago is in Jakarta for 8 months working in WB. We had fun planning trips in Indonesia. It’s always nice to have travel mate to roam my own country.

And yesterday was quite a day with girlfriends. I had seriously hilarious lunch with an Australian friend. Oh my! She was more update about the latest celebrity gossip, the hot one! I only heard about it but was not too inquisitive to know further. For me it’s another unfortunate case where private video spreads through the net. My friend spiced it up so interestingly that I begged her to share the link. We giggled like school kids in her house on my way home. I ended up came home a bit too late for my next get-together. I thanked my good friend for the good giggle, not just the link. Giggling is so liberating.

I hosted three girlfriends at home from late afternoon to close to midnight. We had potluck, we had fun! It’s fun about us, we hadn’t known each other well actually. We just knew from link to link a year ago and felt click quite immediately. Last night was our session to get to know each other better with the easiest approach to know a girl, her relationship. We interviewed one. One volunteered to share her side. Then we moved to the one that is still single in her 40s. And time was up when everybody realized they didn’t have idea about my side. I timed it well!

The rest of my trip last night was fine. I realized 3.5-hour flight is not too long. I visualized flying Jakarta – Denpasar back and forth and here I am in Manila! I started reading the latest book of Anthony Bourdain Medium Raw. I’m quite a fan of his writing. Although I don’t cook but it’s fun to read about his view on food business on television and in real in America. He is such a frank writer, he just speaks his mind. Journalistically harsh, sometimes.

Manila is humid at 31º and 56% this morning. This weekend is special because tomorrow the Philippines will celebrate their Independence Day that makes long weekend here with Monday as public holiday. Mr. Noynoy’s first celebration with the nation. I got some invitations to some events in conjunction with the celebration. It’s weekend, I’d like to just reorient myself first. But I look forward to doing things here. In a new way without my good good friend around anymore.


Mabuhay!

I am now writing on bumpy PA flight heading Manila with a stopover in Singapore, my first experience flying with the airline. After quite emotionally tiring traffic to the airport, I was happy to enter the aircraft that looked spacious because of the sky-blue color seat covers reminded me of Kate Spade range with the 1950s ambiance. Lovely, I’m ready to go.

Familiar accent announcing this and that. As this is not a budget airline, lunch was served. It’s nice to feel at home right away when I saw the familiar bread with, I guess, chicken sausage inside. The warm hotdog was wrapped nicely with aluminium foil and served without tray, with a 100 ml of orange and water cup. So cute! I skipped the meal after a few bites. I was still anxious from the morning in the bank for an unresolved issue.

In the back, sitting a group of Indonesian going on a tour. I could not tell from what institution they are, I believe they are in a certain business and this is their ‘office’ tour. Then I wonder what place will they visit in the Philippines. It’s just nice to see the good energy of a group traveling together. Distributing instant noodle in cups and deciding what to do in 20-minute layover in Changi. Do not ask how often they took pictures together, on board and off board.

I continue this piece in my first morning in Manila.

The rest of my trip last night was fine. I realized 3.5-hour flight is not too long. I visualized flying Jakarta – Denpasar back and forth and here I am in Manila! I started reading the latest book of Anthony Bourdain Medium Raw. I’m quite a fan of his writing. Although I don’t cook but it’s enriching to read about his view on food business on television and in real in America. He is such a frank writer, he just speaks his mind. Journalistically harsh, sometimes.

Manila is humid at 31º and 56% this morning. This weekend is special because tomorrow the Philippines will celebrate their Independence Day that makes long weekend here with Monday as public holiday. Mr. Noynoy’s first celebration with the nation. I got some invitations to some events in conjunction with the celebration. It’s weekend, I’d like to just reorient myself first.

Manila, 11 June 2010 11:28 (GMT +8 hours)

Bromelia in Mama's garden.

If you are an early riser… you feel the day crawls by so long because your time does not match with normal business hour. By 8, you are ready to have lunch. You may be an early sleeper too because you feel tired early.

If you are affected by ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) as in symptoms, not the illness… you jump from one activity to another without really finish each. You do whatever comes in mind first although you are still doing something else.

If you get bored easily… you put extras on many things. In travel sense, you cannot pack light! In shopping sense, one color is not enough.

If you are a bit creative… you have ideas about many things that makes you mildly suffer from ADHD and get bored easily symptoms because you are not satisfied with anything less dynamic.

If you are keen in writing out your mind… your mind is composing sentences in any disengaged-moment with hope it will not end up like many Asian who can switch to daydreaming swiftly (according to a NZ friend’s observation).

If you feel so comfortable with your computer… you abuse the computer. For one is to satisfy your crave for writing, the rest is to manipulate pictures as part of if you are a bit creative.

If you enjoy engaging… you feel frustrated easily to find that you are the only one who provides. Who entertain, according to a good friend with similar idea. The worst fact is… you are born with the habit so accept you may suffer often.

If you are human… you have low time, but remember, so other human. Just a tip, if you notice your hairstylist not in good mood, you better pump his/her creativity first by asking him to show and tell before he/she actually starts cutting your hair.

If you are human… you have low time. Accept the reality that in such time you also lose your creativity so do not meet other human with low time because it becomes low time times two!

If you do not see human often… you can rely on a cat. He/she can make you feel human.

If you keep adding this list… you end up sitting in front of computer all day.

The human.

Traveling from Malang is somewhat tiring. Emotionally for one, physically is relative. It’s not easy to be parted from nephew Dhana although we didn’t spend thick time together either. When I’m in Malang, we are just being in the same room with our own activities and only talking when we have something in mind. The trip was smooth but I just didn’t have energy when I got the house in Jakarta at noon.

I enjoyed my netbook so much. I had nice one-hour writing while waiting for my flight to leave. As often, I was a bit too early to get airport. I couldn’t predict well but I also like to be in airport early because we never know what may happen.

My dermatologist I saw in the evening made my day. I have been her patient almost a decade. She introduced me to a good skin care product from Paris I still use till today. I have very sensitive skin and I adore her approach. I feel like she can read my mind and look through my skin. Seems that we quite like each other. I stayed some 30 minutes chatting! About her being only child, her only son who is dermatologist himself, her 91 year old mother that had positive attitude at all times. Oh my! I believe we can sit for hours chatting about many things in life. I like her.

I have fixed some appointments to fill my two days in Jakarta. I look forward…

Here’s my piece from airport this morning.


Malang Airport: In Retrospect

There’s something cute about the airport in Malang. The easiest way to know how cute the airport is by the amount of airport tax we pay. It’s 0.6 cents compares to $4 in bigger airports in Jakarta and Bali. It has been years I use the airport actively and the tax has not changed. And more, the service is even cuter. All manual. At least the luggage handling. The weigh scale is one with hands, not digital! Porters help you putting the luggage on the scale then he shout the weight for the check-in officer keys in the computer. That’s in GA counter only, the other airline SJ uses totally manual service, even seat number on boarding pass is a tiny sticker with number like on cinema ticket on my childhood days, or handwritten. Through both counters, you can see your luggage moves from one person to other till it goes out the door in the back of small rectangular room where all the business are done. Isn’t it cute for the 21st century?

I don’t quite remember when it started using this military airport for commercial flights. If my memory does not fail me, it’s in the mid 1980s when I was still in the university. It was on and off for several times for several reasons like it took time for them to decide using the base for commercial purpose as well. Finally, after about mid 1990s, the airport keeps open for commercial flights. The complex is quite large with two rows of Art Deco houses for high-rank officers along the way to the airport. There are even a hospital and a gas station. It takes about 8 minutes from the gate with security inspection to the airport (yes, we cannot drive fast inside the complex).

The airport underwent many route trials. Malang – Jakarta route is regular since open. I heard it once had Malang – Denpasar on weekends but not in operation before I gave it a try. And when the mud volcano burst slowed Malang – Surabaya traffic, there was flight from Malang to Surabaya at $20 for must be less than half hour flying time. Also, I noticed flight to a city in Kalimantan sometime ago that I do not see the sign anymore. The airport holds less traffic since a few months ago because of damage on the runway. It was quite ambitious that the airport had three airlines flew in and out twice a day everyday so the tarmac worn out quick. Now it holds two airlines only with the same frequency, twice a day, or less?

My convenient 30-minute trip on Monday morning to the airport from home is sort of bonding back with my birth town. I forgot that trains are still in operation so when the taxi stopped for passing train, I interviewed the driver. The train to Surabaya becomes popular again after the mud volcano slows the traffic terribly. Train cuts half the traveling time at the cost of 0.4 cents! The train also goes west to some small towns near Malang: Tulungagung, Kediri, bla bla I don’t remember. I was daydreaming for a while wondering if I ever want to take the adventure of riding the train passing those small towns. Maybe if I find friends with similar idea?

I am now writing while watching passengers of GA from Jakarta disembarking. Yes, the gate is facing the runway so next-flight passengers can see all activities of that side. Malang is a small town that I can guarantee I'm familiar with at least one soul embarking or disembarking any flight in the airport. I just spotted a childhood friend, a few years junior in elementary school, walking to the terminal. A German, son of a missionary in Batu back in the 1970s, that has become a total arema (the famous football hooligan from Malang) after over 40 years living in the area. It’s cute!

The life of the airport, I mean.

See the cargo pushed by man power to the aircraft?

Malang, 7 June 2010 8:49 (GMT +7 hours)

Two Worlds Together

It’s interesting to mingle with a young adult. I have heard stories about my friends’ relationship with their teenage and young adult loved ones and here I am in with one. Like older women (I’m talking about myself), young adults also have their own world. So when my nephew and I get together, the two worlds need to negotiate when is the right time to start a smooth conversation.

Playing mother to my nephew, I asked about thesis he is working on the past weeks. With eyes still gluing on television, he updated me with the progress. He is going to hold his proposal seminar this Thursday. I was interested so asked further about the organizing of the seminar. I was not behaving well it seems, he stopped trying to respond and asked me not to ask while he is watching television.

Ha ha. It’s Sunday. Cartoon and cooking channels are busy airing nice shows for couch potatoes at home. I had used tricks to find the right time to have nice chat yesterday that we managed to have between shows. I just knew that even Mr. Bourdain has his show at 8 o'clock in the evening and later close to midnight another lady still cooking on television. Cable television pushes us to be in the same time zone.

I use meal time to have a nice smooth exchange. He has such big passion for food so it’s easy to talk about what he likes to cook and what he fancies. The thing is school subject does not usually come up at dining table. That’s fine! Since we both love gadgets, I can always catch him when he comes near and starts talking about websites and books he likes me to check out. Never raised children myself, it’s nice to have an instant child like him. And the fact that we are close in personality, it’s easier for me to understand his idea and rhythm. Not a big challenge, I just need to compose report for his mom in the US every now and then. I will definitely miss him when he resides back in the US soon after he finishes his study.

Ready he was, I had a chance to have a peek at his thesis proposal. He is going to research communication ethnography on the classics The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I enjoyed reading his idea. The terms have brought me back the memory of my master degree thesis on applied linguistics. We use similar approach, I analyzed the uses of implicatures (to convey an additional meaning not expressed literally) in communication. Been through his proposal, I have confidence he can finish it well especially because English has become his first language. Oh, how I miss being in school again!

Finally, we managed to do grocery shopping. My nephew was so precise in setting time we go. 1 o’clock! We left with somebody started cooking on television. I guessed he chose to leave her behind to be with his auntie. Two hours past. We were happy kids again with our goodies from the hypermarket. Especially my special cook, now he must have a long list of Italian food on his menu for the next days. Both worlds end the day content.

Pants in a student laundry we saw on our way to get angkot.

I’m in the mood of sharing since morning. It’s strange that I was inspired by Laura Calder’s website (yes, my nephew had made me checked out her website). She wrote a brief life update consists of what she does and feels. I always like to share with loved ones my experience and feelings via writing (blog or email) but there are times I feel discouraged by lack of, if no, response from them. Not that I need a praise but I wonder if my friends actually enjoy or do not bother to go through my emails. That’s when I like the ‘thumb-up’ sign on Facebook. It’s a simple way to give attention, no composing needed. But why do I need that actually? Writing is my way to empty my mind anyway.

I used Calder’s writing style to share with my good friends on Facebook. I know some who write and appreciate a piece of writing. It’s good we can create a list of friends on Facebook so I don’t have to worry about sharing my life update with "to whom it may not concern." I also sort of copy the writing style of Time’s feature about the best of Asia’s mind, body, and soul. It’s written by different writers; brief but so ‘telling’ about a place or thing. It’s nice rather than reading a full article of a place or thing. This brief format tells all about the experience, the object, and the feelings that follow. Fabulous! I am so inspired by many through reading today.

Although I missed wandering the city with my dear nephew, I enjoy every minute I spend exercising ideas. I’m laying out plans for Manila too! Finally, here is my first brief update for Facebook friends (also email-pals) I sent out before noon today.

Malang, here I come…

I was gone around 19:30 last night. It was an extraordinary travel day yesterday. I didn’t sleep well the night before and in the morning I found one of my tires flat before I left for the airport. It’s good to know my ex-staff Ketut didn’t mind to get up early and take me to the airport. A cousin took care of the tire later the day. I am blessed with nice people around me. The trip from Surabaya airport to Malang was not bad either. It was sunny and seems that the new mud bubble on the road along Porong has been fixed (though maybe temporary?). Two hours to get Malang home was not bad at all especially because I could doze riding on bumpy road.

Being in Malang one night, I realized I live different life here. It’s so different than quiet Ubud. My parents’ house located near a big campus that the neighborhood is houses that rent rooms (kost) for students. Only a few houses nearby house families. The road can be so busy with chatty students walking to campus; or motorbikes raising its speed. Like many houses in small town, our house has ‘see-through’ fence with plants instead of solid walls like big-city houses.

Inside the house, my dear nephew constantly makes creative noise with his activities. Be it in front of computer (playing games with loud tap of keyboard and music sometimes), in front of television (with news, cartoon and cooking channels), or… in the kitchen cooking! It makes the house alive! Active! Especially because we are both late night as well as early morning persons. We mingle till before midnight and meet again in a few hours around 5 o’clock. I love it!

Yesterday when I arrived around noon, the house smelled fresh cookies from the oven. My auntie was busy baking cookies for her upcoming son’s wedding that I will miss. And before too long, she shared me two jars of… chocolate cookies! I loved it though it’s floua and suga… Indulge now, exercise later! This morning my nephew prepared really nice muesli with yogurt, banana, nuts, god-knows-what-inside. It tasted super! I enjoyed my five-star breakfast! For a change of my simple breakfast a la Ubud – fruits fruits fruits!

Malang was a bit stuffy. Big garden and big house do not help apparently. Many still thought Malang has nice cool weather. I lost such impression the past ten years. But this morning started with nice warm sun but breezy. I was bitten by jalan-jalan (wandering) bug; be in angkot the public transportation, or see familiar places again? But that was not my nephew’s idea. My nephew and I are in the same group of people who enjoy staying home a lot. He didn’t seem enthusiastic about being a tourist in his own town. So here we are! Stay home and back to old mode of reading and writing – offline and online – but in Malang.

Anything, as long as we are together.

Malang, 5 June 2010 10:43 (GMT +7 hours)

My parents' house again.

Hidup memang penuh kejutan. My cousin texted me after he and Ketut dropped me off in airport early this morning. For me, it’s another day with unexpected things. It never happened before and it happened in the time I needed my car most! One of the tires ran flat when I drove out of my yard. I once thought What if? Like The Secret, don’t do What if?

It’s good I have a good support in Ubud. Often my friends reminded me about it that although I live by myself but I should not worry since I have a troop of supporting friends. It’s true and I feel grateful because of it. It warms me to know that friends just come and help when I need.

My fate got better. I was by myself in the shared-transportation car going to Malang. The other person didn’t show up. I could relax in the backseat. I didn’t sleep well last night. I must say I barely slept. It’s just strange. I felt a bit uncomfortable with the minor change of my departure next Thursday. The flight I used to take was booked out that I had to use other airline with a stop in Singapore. It means…

Before Ketut picked me up, I was standing by my car counting my blessings. After all the unexpected things happening in the past two days, I’m still lucky in many ways. I should not complain since I have options to outsmart things I don’t want to happen. To have options is the most luxury thing in the world.

It’s so nice to be with my dear nephew again. Smell of cookies in oven was all over house when I arrived. My auntie baked trays of cookies for the upcoming son's wedding. My nephew had stocked up food I like (among them is… grr chocolate!). Serving food is part of warm hospitality in Asia especially in small towns like Malang. I have prepared but I prepared to say No! Or, I need to manage my intake. How can I resist the cookies (yes, it’s floua and suga)? Coke and not a Zero? Oily perut ayam and bolu kukus that look so inviting? It’s part of politeness too that I consume what they have served. Not an excuse at all, I’m telling you the truth!

I won’t say I will start diet tomorrow but I’d like to say… I will exercise even more tomorrow! The same affirmation I have started saying months ago and still need to work on. The Secret says Just do it!

Bag tag I once thought cool but I chickened out to wear later. We live in different kind of world now.

Life is funny sometimes. Full of unexpected things. It was raining when I got up, the usual wet morning these days. I waited till a bit late before made a decision to clean car. My car was just clean and dry when the drizzle started again. I let go. It was just strange to see the sun and the rain at the same time.

If feels like December when the rain falls every day that feels damp in the house. There’s something I don’t enjoy much in the wet season. Wet season? Who can tell these days, it’s June and wet in Ubud (that I don’t think it applies to the rest of Bali)? What can’t I enjoy? Smell of damp in the house that is quite annoying since I could not locate the source. I end up using aircon often like in summer. I feel not so good about it but I also need to dehumidify my stuff. It’s a constant issue of living in this lovely but humid town.

And so how do the unexpected things continue to happen this morning? I was so proud of myself to be able to start the day so early when I drove out around 9! I rarely if never failed to be on time but there were times when I had to cut my plan to be on or in time at least. So yes, my pride vanished instantly when I realized I forgot my hair dye at home. For the first time, I had to drive back to fetch something.

And the bank officer nicely reminded me to always bring an… ID! The ibu-ibu in me had simplified handbag in the morning and she could only remember to bring enough cash and an ATM card. Not even driver license! It had been long I didn’t feel inadequate! Anyway, she was nice to just proceed with the renewal of my account-book with a few verifications. In Bali, we need to have KIPEM (local ID that is more like permit to stay) but we cannot use it as a ‘real’ ID for banking. I managed to get my local driver license using that KIPEM actually. Yea, we never know!

I had nice hilarious moment with my color stylist, as always. He colors my hair and my day once a month. Just love him! Another beautiful soul in Ubud. I managed to find gifts for my loved ones before lunch with a good friend-couple in their favorite café. By 4 o’clock, I had gone to three cafés to meet friends. I had quite hectic last day. Even now I haven’t packed my clothes properly. I just printed my ticket. After all the unexpected things since morning, I was so brave to have my air-ticket printed in last minute.

Now I look forward to start my usual four-week trip!

I enjoy my new netbook so much that I look for this sign wherever.

Many of my friends have started issuing dates of their summer leave. Before too long I will be the last one standing in Ubud. But glad, it won’t happen! I will also leave, sooner than I had expected. Things moved so fast that plan was made in a snap. In two days, I will be out of Ubud for the rest of the month.

Been in Ubud almost five solid weeks, I have started to dance to the town-rhythm. And the thought of leaving soon has made me dive into the atmosphere even more. I inhale deeper breath, I listen to gamelan even more, I absorb the green of the town into my memory, I see gebogan (tall offering on dulang) as a work of art not just a part of Balinese life. I could not help texting a good friend yesterday: I love Ubud. I really do!

I talked with a cousin while ironing a heap of laundry this morning. The last batches. It was a nice catch up as often. And as often, a conversation leads to a business. Hung up the two-hour call, I rushed preparing 12 necklaces to send to Jakarta before 15:00. A cousin will open a boutique in an up-market mall on Saturday and was in need of a jewelry supplier. I don’t mind helping. It’s also nice to get a chance of having my creation exposed in larger scale.

I spent all afternoon sitting on the floor packing the leftover necklaces for Jakarta. Nothing left in Ubud as I’m ready to make a new line, new collection. Reset. Refresh. It’s exactly three years last month since I launched my first collection. It’s time!

I had my only shower of the day at twilight. I scratched my legs a lot. Now I have to admit that dust gives polka-dot motif on my skin. For years I didn’t want to admit since I always believed any disease comes from mind especially symptoms connected with allergy. Using positive affirmation works for some allergies, not with dust. Maybe it's time to get out of this humid damp house for a while to recover.

With all the pros and cons of leaving a place called home, I look forward…

A view I'd like to keep in my memory. Entrance of Museum Puri Lukisan.

This is to celebrate the 100th post.

Yea, but what’s for? A friend sighed when I suggested her to buy a netbook for the rest of her journey in Asia that still goes for good three months or maybe more if she decides to go to China till March next year. She is now working on a website she wants to do and some other works, also for a scholarship she applied she needs to blog and network (Facebook and Twitter).

She thinks there’s no point of blogging after the scholarship is announced. She doesn’t want to spend time writing knowing that no one will read. Good point! I often thought about it too. I’m writing a lot to… nobody! Hardly one reads my blog, not even close ones. How did I know? They ask things I have written on blog. They rarely if never comment on unusual remarks I made about my day. They don’t know what I’m up to, what bothers me, what's my plan… And funny enough, they demand to know about my days! Ha.

I’m also a good email writer, I know that very well! And the same, people don’t have time to read an elaborate email. Now I learn how to write life update in journalistic style that is brief pointers instead of elaborate paragraphs. I enjoy it when they write back asking about details of a pointer.

So, yes, what’s for? The same question of what’s for is still streaming in, asking why I took museology training last April. Can’t we just do what we want to do without particular purpose? Is any training wasted if we just do it? If we have additional knowledge? When the same friend asked why I did museology training said she enjoyed helping out in the museum in Sweden, my eyebrows raised. Never mind. I’m glad for I got email from the Indonesian liaison with a museum in Leiden about the book about to publish and they reserve thank-you copies for us who helped with the project. I am in!

I learned that many think writing is a great idea and important but hardly one likes the idea of writing. Even travel journal that I thought traveling is the best moment to record. They thought there’s no point to write since they are not going to reread what they have written because they want to enjoy the moment, the NOW! Do you think I reread my diary books and blog posts from years ago? So here I am, I don’t even read my writing! Maybe they are right in the end. What’s for?

Why are you walking up and down the rope, ants?!