45 RULES OF LIFE written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time enough time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative (dying young).

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside, every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Ini daftar hal-hal yang harus diingat yang masih suka aku baca sampai sekarang untuk mengingatkan aku untuk tidak terlalu serius dalam menghadapi hidup. Belakangan aku memperhatikan kalau aku merasa semakin dipenjarakan oleh nilai-nilai yang sudah tertanam dalam diriku. Mengesalkan sehingga aku harus mengingat nomor 32, janganlah berlaku terlalu serius terhadap diri sendiri karena tidak ada orang yang begitu. Entah benar atau tidak terjemahan filosofinya.

Aku masih juga keheranan pada orang-orang yang hanya mengambil (bukan dalam arti fisik). Di satu sisi aku kesal, di sisi lain aku berkaca. Sudahkah aku memberi? Sudahkah aku berekspresi dengan baik sehingga tidak mengesalkan orang? Dan ada beberapa sudahkah lain yang berkecamuk di kepalaku. Ironisnya lagi, dulu aku mengira persoalan ‘memerah satu arah’ ini hanya terjadi di kulturku karena aku mengira kultur lain lebih berbudaya. Ternyata tidak. Hal ini tidak ada kaitannya dengan kultur, ini urusan manusia dengan manusia, darimana pun mereka berasal.

You are what you eat, and you are what's eating you.
KKASeperti etika memakai telpon genggam yang semakin kabur di dunia timur dan barat, ternyata etika dasar seperti berterimakasih pun juga semakin kabur bahkan… menghilang! Aku terkejut dengan kenyataan urusan yang terakhir tetapi aku tidak mengada-ada. Sekarang, menerima ucapan terimakasih buat aku seperti anugerah karena langka! Apalagi kalau itu dalam hitungan hari yang sama. Wah! Jangan tanya urusan pinjam-meminjam. Lebih baik aku tidak menerima tawaran untuk meminjam daripada gagal ‘transaksi.’ Seberapapun aku santai urusan hal-hal tersebut karena aku tidak mau termakan, aku tetap terbelenggu karena pola yang sudah ditanamkan orangtuaku. Dan sekarang aku terjepit karena aku tidak mau menjadi ‘you are what’s eating you.’ Benar kata kawanku di dinding FB-nya beberapa waktu yang lalu.

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. Aku pergi berbelanja hari ini. Niat ini sudah ada sejak dua hari yang lalu. Tidak biasanya dan benar… Aku masih juga tidak telaten berbelanja. Aku maunya cepat-cepat sampai di rumah lagi. Walhasil aku hanya melihat-lihat di dua toko kegemaranku dan aku memborong empat pasang alas kaki untuk balas dendamku yang tidak jelas. Balas dendam kepada keadaan, kepada diriku yang it’s always me that ends up getting wet. Puas rasanya!

Senang hari ini sekolah di pusat pertokoan!

Jendela di museum di Manila.