I write to empty my mind
and to fill my heart.
Writing is easy:
just stare at the screen of your computer until a tear drops on your keyboard.
Paulo CoelhoCoelho is funny but I only agree with the first statement.

It’s sunny and raining alternately since morning. The sun is so promising that I want to hang my laundry in the sun. Just a minute after I prepare for taking the hanger out, the sun goes away, and heavy cloud reappears. So I stop because I don’t want to run rescuing the laundry from being wet. It’s the same tricky decision I have to make of when to wipe dry car! I didn’t have chance today.

My urge to write suffers the same on-off since a few days ago. When I scroll up the draft page, I can see some unfinished paragraphs I composed in different times and days. When I open my netbook, I can see other unfinished compositions. I was and maybe still am mati angin. Writer’s block? I don’t want to label. I cannot write. That’s all.

It’s a bit sad since I had fabulous weekend. It’s so nicely overwhelming to have met and spent time with many wonderful people in the course of two days. I spent all afternoon on Saturday at a good friend’s birthday celebration. There were twenty guests at the birthday get-together hosted by the host couple. It’s funny to observe how we are all connected. Have lived in three cities, I met friends from all three connections but mingled in the same pot in Ubud. Lately my friends and I often discussed about how we are all connected because we are becoming inquisitive about how large a network can be. Facebook has made the connection so transparent through that mutual friends box.

After the hilarious lunch with speeches, I had a chance to have a peek at our friend’s neighbor lives in a tent-house. They live side by side, sharing the same piece of land, only she built an Out-of-Africa-style tent that she actually lives in. I was awed by the idea of living ‘outside’ but inside. She lives a simple life that it's so simple to become not simple. Working with an NGO on environmental issues in NYC long time ago, she still has passion to keep the ideal of saving the world. She prepares her own soap made of klerak. She refuse, reuse, and recycle things. I admire. Her business is as sexy as the idea. She produces high quality stuff for traveling or surviving in jungle with style. Pure cotton, linen, and other organic materials in white or cream for bathrobe, mosquito net, slippers, laundry bag, and maybe tent also? Looks so pure and… in need of serious washing to remove stains after use. Now I sound so pessimistic. Not at all. I am big fan of her creation. I love white and I don’t mind stains as part of the elegant lifestyle.

So yes, I was so inspired by the idea of living in a tent! I gathered information of how to make it happen, I mean, how to build such! Maybe it’s time for me to splurge on an (I thought) impossible ideas. I understand Coelho’s say about if “you can dream, you can do” and "start moving, so I can start blessing" but yes… I have trapped myself into a scary unsureness about my ideas. So when a good friend, again, started doubting about my and others idea; I look at myself in the mirror. Who am I to judge him have let himself trapped in unsureness? Only, I’m unsure about my power, other may have difficulties in trusting others. Which one is better? None.

The past few days, I mingled quite often with a new friend from New Zealand. She reminded me of my young friend from Belgium I knew last year. They are about the same age and have similar spirit of life; it energizes and inspires me! The old soul trapped in the body of thirty year old. I need to mingle more with such fresh determined spirit yet fragile so I can learn and realize how human we are.

To close my mumbles, I have to record this. About last week or the week before, I saw a little black dog running into my compound in panic. He looked very thin then fragile. I thought he’s ready to die anytime. His skin looked not so good either. Strange that I felt I had connection with the dog (no, Facebook has nothing to do with this kind of connection). I told myself, if this dog is mine, he would sleep in my place. I have wanted to have a dog since long time but I cannot afford (emotionally) since I travel in a long period at a time.

I was not sure if I wanted the dog though because of the skin condition and rabies issue lately. Anyway, a few days later I noticed he wore a red-pink cord around his neck. Does somebody own him? Or, is he vaccinated already? Red cord on dogs’ neck is a code here. Good one! So yes, I find him sleeping on my doormat almost every night now although he ripped the mat off and one morning I found him with bones (that gosh I didn’t know whose!). And the good news is…

He barked at the girls from a warung delivered my lunch today! He is mine, he is mine!! Though virtually!

No, that’s not my dog. It’s Sy’s.