My sister went No sir!!! when I told her I want to go back to school. I know the commitment sounds big that it’s so unbelievable I will take. She is not the first who showed disbelief about my plan. Other good friend tried to give me different ideas if I need a ‘positive distraction.’ What’s wrong with going back to school? I haven’t found an answer yet.

Last week my good friend in Ubud told me with sparkle in his eyes about what his guru-ji told him. My friend wondered if he has done enough in life so asked his guru-cousin what he should do. His guru reminded him that he already has a good life other people want. He is already in the big sea of happiness, not in the narrow ditch finding way to the sea. His message is… Why don’t you just enjoy the ride? The calm ride of being in the big sea. I pondered about it.

I learned to sketch in a private gallery in the main road of Ubud all morning. I had planned to join since last week but only today I went with my new friend from New Zealand. It’s on the second floor of the gallery, bright but closed space. Of course, because we had a life model posing nude for some twelve participants. Heard the participants could go as many as thirty! I was surprised. I knew the model. British girl I often met in many occasions around Ubud. She just graduated from a teacher training for yoga. I admired.

Class hadn’t started yet but my friend already said she was not sure if she could stay till the end of three hours. Actually I was wondering about myself too. I have a short span of attention. Do anything, I cannot focus on the same thing for half hour or so. I can, if I am so much into it. I told my friend not to worry while I was telling myself the same. So we started the warm-up, five minute sketching at a time then break, four times. Then ten minute sketching at a time then break, three times. Then twenty minute sketching at a time then break, three times. Altogether made up three hours. Time just passed. My attention depleted an hour before the session ended. I did my best in the last hour. I enjoyed other participants’ work. They are regulars and looked professional. Some actually painted, not just sketched.

Like school girls came out of class, we felt free walking to our lunch. I was quite satisfied with my work today. The model has nice body that shows bold lines in my eyes. In such class, we don’t see nude body, we only see lines. I wondered if I can be a model. Got home I checked my body in the mirror, I don’t have bold lines because all are in smaller scale. Models for Botero must have rich lines! What an experience stretching self to do something I don’t usually do! Start with sketching, set modeling aside.

I got home late afternoon. I thanked my new friend who is still so young, so young she can be my daughter, for kicking me to join the class. We have arranged our next date. She already called me hot Mama! Merely because I often had hot ideas about hot things. She is just cute!

My sketches today.